If you’ve scoured the internet and found your way to this article, then there’s a high chance you are on the verge of ending your relationship with your current partner. There are a million and one reasons you decided this might very well be the best step to take in your life. We think it takes a mature person to take a step back from pretending to seriously ponder what you need vs. what you don’t need, and make moves towards letting go of someone who is wrong for you no matter how good they seem.
It is important to know that there isn’t a “perfect way to break up” with someone. This holds especially when the other person is still quite invested in the relationship. It is always harder knowing that you will most definitely hurt your partner but understand that it is better for both of you to avoid future problems. Now, while there is no perfect way to do so, we believe there are ways to avoid the worst breakups. To aid in your bold step, here are four tips to avoiding the worst breakups, to minimize the emotional damage this may do to you and your soon-to-be ex-partner.
4 Ways to Avoid the Worst Break Ups
Always do it in person.
A golden rule with breakups is having an upfront face-to-face conversation. This drastically reduces the chances of miscommunication, and you can discuss exactly what went wrong between you two and resolve differences before leaving.
A large percentage of the worst breakups are the ones done over phone calls or texts. This is usually a poor break up, method because people do not want to have to deal with the emotional responsibility that comes with hurting someone else. However, nothing shows how much you valued the relationship like that final mature conversation (in person, of course).
Talking in a calm environment also helps to soften the blow; think of it as a final effort that could very well dispel any bad blood between the two of you.
Avoid clichés and clashes.
It is very important to avoid common sentences like “It’s not you, it’s me“ or constantly repeating the fact that they did nothing wrong. This is very unhelpful as it could potentially increase self-doubt in some people, also it helps to sound as honest as possible and not like some mechanical robot.
Also, know how problematic your partner could get in tough emotional situations such as a breakup. Let’s be honest, some people take bad news more personally than others. If your partner has even the slightest lean towards emotional or physical abuse, during the breakup you need to make sure you carefully select your words and location to avoid any conflicts or heated arguments. Make sure you come out of the situation alive and well.
Keep the right tone.
Tell the truth, but don’t be cruel. This is a problem for many people. They never quite word their intentions well and leave many cues that can easily be misread. You may think saying some things endearing might help reduce the emotional pain, but all you’ll do is give your partner false hope.
This is, in fact, the worst breakup scenario; one where you leave them thinking you’re bluffing, and with time and patience you will definitely accept them back. It is very important to choose your words well and not consciously or unconsciously manipulate them into getting the wrong message.
This is the most important aspect of a breakup. After meeting with your now ex, you might be tempted to actively check on them and frequently communicate. However, it is advisable to give them a break and give them time to heal their wounds a bit and get used to not having you as a romantic partner.
Even in cases where they ask that you communicate in some degree (to wrap up loose ends caused by living together, for instance), you still need to give them the space to heal and reflect, as every breakup should be a learning experience to be better or think about compatibility.
So there you have it, the most important tips to avoiding the absolute worst breakups. Being mature about a break up can keep the time you spent together positive. Hopefully, these tips will help you navigate a seemingly sticky situation better than you otherwise would have.