The Importance of Being Wild by J. J. Sorel
EXCERPT – CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IMPORTANCE OF BEING WILD by J. J. Sorel New Release
Gazing at me with a mischievous twinkle, Suzy crooked her finger, and like a stupid idiot I followed.
What was I expecting? That she would show me her grandfather’s war medals, or that she was about to reveal the mysterious whereabouts of the Holy Grail?
A silent “what-the-fuck” left my lips after Suzy locked the door to her office situated at the entrance of the children’s shelter.
We were obviously not there to discuss the music program.
She removed her glasses and lowered her lids in readiness to pounce. Before I had a chance to tell Suzy that I wasn’t in the mood for fucking and that I’d lost my head over a hard-to-get girl named Bonnie, she was all over me.
Her talonlike fingers gripped my arms, while her mouth met mine with such ferocity, I nearly swallowed my tongue.
Before I could protest, Suzy pushed me against the wall, and her hand went straight for the zipper of my jeans. Shit. She was hungry. But my cock wasn’t. Not for Suzy.
Once upon a time, before Bonnie, my dick would be pumping hard, raring to go for any reasonably fuckable woman. But Bonnie had gotten under my skin, somewhere deep. A place no other woman had ever been.
I’m not sure if I liked losing that side of me. I’d always placed great importance on being wild. That adage ‘you only live once’ motivated many a rash decision I’d made in the past, including fucking women I barely knew against walls.
Limp and unwilling was the best way to describe my dick. He hadn’t woken up yet and wasn’t about to. I remained pinned against the wall. Her lips sucked onto mine while her hands grabbed at any piece of flesh it could land on.
I felt embarrassed for both of us.
It didn’t seem right. I was there for the kids, not to get laid.
I gently pushed her away and pulled up my zipper. “Look, Suzy, um… I’m kinda hooked on a girl.”
Suzy ironed out her skirt with her hands and pushed stray blonde hair away from her eyes. “I don’t know what came over me. I guess I read the signs wrong.”
What signs? I wondered. Was I beaming sexual frustration via some feral scent after tasting Bonnie’s delicious mouth the night before? I’d had some pretty serious hand action after that. She’d made me that hard I nearly went through a box of tissues.
I brushed my hair back with my hands, and staring at the petite co-ordinator, I said, “Let’s forget this ever happened. Okay?”
She smiled tightly. “Yeah, sure.”
“I actually wanted to speak to you about hiring a hip-hop teacher. What do you think?”
Nodding slowly, she replied, “That sounds interesting. Are you going to be able to pay for all of that?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise. Do you have some space we can use?”
“There’s the gym.”
I rubbed my hands together. The kids were about to experience a healthy dose of creativity.
She must have read my mind. “It sounds like you want to turn this into a performing arts school.”
“You know, I think, that might happen with some careful planning. My mother’s great at raising money for causes. That’s what these kids need something to focus on. Some of them show lots of promise, musically. I’m going to bring in a few instruments. How would you feel about a drum kit, and electric guitars?”
Her nose wrinkled. “Noisy.”
“Yeah.” I laughed. “I’m thinking of getting a rock band together.”
“Ah… like The School of Rock?”
“Something like that. I would love to nurture them. Enable them to channel that pent-up energy into music, dance, you know?” The rapid notes in my voice were in tandem with my heart. I was inspired all of a sudden because I’d finally found a vocation.
“Curtis, where have you hailed from? You’re not only hot as sin, but you’re generous and willing to give so much of yourself.”
I shrugged. “It’s better than sitting at home with a guitar balancing on my thighs all day long.”
Her lips curled. A tinge of suggestion flickered from her eyes. “Maybe you should get this girl of yours to balance on your thighs instead.”
I chuckled. What a sweet thought. One that had my pants feeling tighter all of a sudden.
After I left the shelter I bounded home.
As I passed Wild Thing, I wavered— should I go in to share my exciting news with Bonnie? Or should I leave it for the next day?
My head told me to go home, while my heart, which always had the winning edge, told me to go in. I also felt like a beer.
As I entered the twilight zone, which is how that bar always struck me, I saw an older man leaning into the bar saying something that made Bonnie laugh. She looked up and her rosy smile faded.
Hm… and hello to you, too, I thought.
I felt like leaving. She clearly wasn’t in the mood for me. But I strode over anyway.
The older man turned to see who had made her face change so dramatically. He studied me and gave me a slight nod as a welcome.
I sat next to him and greeted him with a, “how’s it going?”
“What can I get you?” asked Bonnie in a formal tone.
“A beer, thanks, Bonnie.” Determined not to play a game of pretence, her name left my lips with emphasis.
“Coming up,” she said.
The sway of her hips was accentuated by the tight jeans she wore. I think I preferred her tent dresses, at least my dick didn’t thicken in quick response. She must have had the most perfectly shaped butt I’d ever seen. She wore a loose top, which was a relief. I wasn’t ready for that part of her. Even if my body had remembered the impassioned crush we’d experienced holding each other.
I had to look away. Bonnie had me on fire.
She placed the glass of beer on the counter without lifting her eyes at me, then sat down with a book on her lap.
Fuck. That was not nice. I’d saved her life. I wasn’t expecting much. But a friendly smile would have sufficed.
The older man stood up. “I’ll see you soon, love.”
Bonnie lifted her beautiful face and smiled. “Bye, Fred.”
I waited until he’d left and then said, “Have I done something?”
She placed the large book on the ledge and rose. She shook her head. “No.”
“Then why are you acting as if I’m a total stranger?”
She sighed deeply. “I’m not. I’m just not good around new people.”
“I’m not that new. I mean, we’ve been through something major together.”
Bonnie bit her bottom lip. “I know. Thanks for that.”
I took a sip of my beer. “I don’t need that. I just would like you to acknowledge me as a friend, that’s all.”
A faint smile claimed her face. “Okay. I can do that. I’m just not much of a talker.”
“Tell me, have you spoken to your sister about that asshole from last night?” I asked.
“I spoke to her this morning. She said she’d deal with it.”
“She fucking better. What time do you finish tonight?”
“Late. I’m staying for the open-mic.”
“That’s right, I forgot about that. I’ll drop in, then. Do you mind if I walk you home afterward?”
“You know you don’t have to. I can look after myself.” She was back in defensive mode.
This girl was frustratingly hard to engage with.
“I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a night than walking you home.”
“Why?” She asked.
“Didn’t you feel anything from that kiss?”
She gazed down at her hands and nodded ever so slightly.
“I’ve thought of little else,” I said, finishing my beer in one gulp.
“My life’s complicated, Curtis.”
“Whose life, isn’t, Bonnie?
“Maybe. I just need control in my life.”
“You strike me as someone who has lots of control. Maybe too much at the expense of happiness.”
“That sounds like a hedonist talking.”
I chuckled. “Maybe once upon a time I was. Although… in my late teens I made this pact with myself about the importance of being wild.”
“That sounds dangerous,” she challenged.
“I’m not afraid of anything. Fear’s too constricting. It limits one’s scope for discovery.”
“That sounds a little foolish to me,” she retorted.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” I said.
“Who said that again?” She asked.
I think she was testing me. At least, I had an answer.
“Roosevelt. My mom always uses it. She’s rather fearless. I think that’s who I take after. Or at least I hope I do.”
Bonnie studied me intently. “You don’t like your dad?”
I shook my head. “Can’t say I do.”
“Do you mind if I don’t talk about him?” I said, taking a swig of my beer.
“Why is being wild so important?” A smirk pressed on her lips.
“Because life’s not a rehearsal.”
“Is that the best you can come up with?” She tilted her head and smiled.
“Ah… that’s better. At least it’s brought a smile.”
“So, tell me, Curtis, how wild are you, then?”
“Is that an invitation, Ms. Wild?”
“No, not really. I’m just curious. Are you a nihilist?”
My head pushed back. “At this time of the day? Isn’t that a midnight conversation?”
She laughed. “Do you even know what that means?”
I thought about it for a moment. “I believe in something so I’m not a nihilist. I have a moral center. In any case, I’m not a hedonist. I am disciplined and responsible when called for.” I stared directly at her expecting a comment but she remained silent, so I added, “Every now and then I need to let my hair down. Nothing too colorful. I’d say I’m probably pretty boring.”
“You don’t strike me as boring,” she said.
“That gives me hope.” Did that faint smile mean that I’d passed the test? I wondered, falling into her gaze.