I’m not sure what I expected, but I will tell you that it wasn’t what I ended up reading! Pinocchio Syndrome is a silly – but entertaining – erotic novella (49pgs). I couldn’t help but laugh out loud several times. Rose was spoiled, annoying, boring, and immature, but Chio – when not being extremely politically incorrect and slightly offensive – was pretty hysterical. The story is told entirely from his third person POV, with a very ironic and tongue-in-cheek tone of voice (see quote).
Pinocchio Syndrome revolves around Chio, who has recently started to work for his godfather Geppie, an Italian mobster. Tasked with the duty of picking up Geppie’s 20-year-old daughter from the airport, he’s not looking forward to playing chauffeur and babysitter to a mafia princess. Once he sees Rose – and her *clears throat* physical attributes – he’s even less excited by the prospect: how will he possibly manage to keep his hands off of her – especially when she keeps throwing herself at him every five minutes?!
If he wants to stay in one piece, this princess is strictly hands off. Even if he managed to get in her pants without getting caught, all it would take would be one question from Geppie, since Chio can’t lie without his body visibly giving him away down south (think Pinocchio … yes, that’s right). So will the fear of what Geppie might do to him with that meat cleaver of his keep Chio in line … or will he be unable to resist Rose’s attempts at seduction?
We find out early on about Chio’s “problem”: that every time he lies, his penis grows an inch, and he has to ejaculate inside a woman for it to go back to normal size. I kid you not! When I read that, I realized the romance I had originally thought to be contemporary might actually be … what? Fantasy? Only other romance category I could think of! But god, how sick does that make me sound?! I promise: I have never before fantasized about a guy who had a penis that basically grew on-command. If I were Chio, you would know I was telling the truth on that one.
Chio was a surprisingly interesting and entertaining character. At the beginning, we’re shown his mafia-asshole persona when he’s rude, mean, and slightly racist. The author nailed the hard-ass act down for him so well that in some ways it didn’t really gel with how he is for the rest of the story. Don’t get me wrong – he continues to swear, get in fights, etc. – but he becomes … endearingly offensive, shall we say.
I’m not even sure whether there’s any point in mentioning Rose, since I’ve already used all my applicable adjectives on her. She’s got big tits, a hot sexy bod, is panting after Chio to pop her cherry, and goes to Princeton, so is apparently smart (no supporting evidence provided for this last statement). What’s not to like?
Last, but most certainly not least, one must speak about the sizzle-factor, which I’m happy to say was alive and well. Very well. As in it recently had a physical and passed with flying colors. I don’t know if it was chemistry between the two characters or just damn good writing, but somehow Major manages to fit into this short novella some very hot scenes and fan-yourself-worthy descriptions. To illustrate my point and whet your appetite: in one bedroom scene, Chio lies to Rose. On purpose. Over and over again. Enough said, I think. *naughty grin*
Pinocchio Syndrome was a light, funny, and sizzling read. If you go into it expecting Shakespeare, you’re going to be disappointed. If you go into it expecting a romance that is emotionally rewarding with excellent character and relationship development, you’re going to be disappointed. However, go into it ready for a slightly ridiculous but entertaining read, and you’ll finish the book with a satisfied smile on your face. (Get your mind out of the gutter; I didn’t mean it that way!)
Jesus, she was beautiful. A feeling he’d never experienced washed over him leaving his insides in a fluttering tangled mess. He swept his hands around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Cradling her head, he kissed her. Her arms laced around his neck. Their lips locked for the first time in a rush of serious heart-felt emotion. It reminded him of his all-time favorite romance movie, The Terminator.
Pinocchio Syndrome by Casea Major
May 23rd 2011 by New Dawning Bookfair
Contemporary Erotic Romance