I had heard things about A Million Dirty Secrets before I started the book. The billionaire trope is my personal crack and it takes a lot to derail me when I start one of these books. What most people think is terrible I usually gobble up with no problems. Unfortunately, A Million Dirty Secrets didn’t work for me.
Delaine Talbot is selling herself to pay for her mother’s transplant surgery. The first step in selling herself is lying to her parents about where she is going. Check. Second step is to find someone to buy her. Check. Third step, sign two-year contract. Check. Fourth step, have lots and lots of crazy monkey sex even though she was a virgin.
It could have worked for me. It really could have. Except for the fact that Delaine is supposed to be 24 years old yet she uses phrases and wording worse that a child would. She slut shames and makes fun of other women almost from the opening of the book. “Double Agent Coochie” and “Wonder Peen” are used by Delaine way too often, although if I am being honest, once is too often. And reading a sex scene from her point of view was like being inside the head of a 16-year-old. So painful and not sexy which was unfortunate because there was a looooot of sex.
“He pressed his hips forward and that thing in his pants nudged the girliest part of me.”
Delaine is supposed to be so mature for taking one for her family and providing the money however, that in and of itself, was not set up very well. What ever happened to a transplant list or the fact that her mother is already so sick that she might not be a candidate? Or when the money is deposited in her parent’s account nobody questions why or how it is there?
While I wasn’t in love with Noah, he still didn’t set me off like Delaine did. He was your typical douche billionaire but like I have said, that often works for me. It probably would have here too if it wasn’t for Delaine.
I managed to make it most of the way through the book just to see what lunacy was going to come next but eventually I had to stop. Final grade-DNF