“Emily.” Her bubbly tone spilled into my ear. “It’s been ages, I know. But I’ve been thinking about you. God, I’m not even sure if this is still your number.” She paused for only half a second, the space of a sigh or maybe taking a moment to reconsider. “Anyway, I wanted to ask – do you still have that blue raincoat? Miss you. Bye.”
The message was innocuous enough- unless you knew their special code. Emily Wayborn hasn’t talked to Amber in many years but when she receives the phone call, she knows her friend is in trouble. They may have parted on unhappy terms but there was a time in her life Amber was everything to her, she might be the only person Emily had ever loved. Now, though she has distanced herself from that type of life, Emily will do whatever it takes to find and save Amber.
Reeve Sallis is the key to everything. Reeve is the last person Amber was linked to. But getting to Reeve is not an easy thing. He is the epitome of danger and all bad things. It is whispered he killed one of his girlfriends and now with Amber’s disappearance, Emily is even more wary of him.
It isn’t just Amber’s connection that is making her worried. Reeve is everything she left. In the five years since she last saw Amber she has only slept with one man. No more whoring herself out for shelter and food, no more drugs and fast living. She has a famous voice and takes care of herself. After one meeting with Reeve she knows he will be her downfall. He is exactly what she craves and can’t say no to.
I stood up straight, distancing myself without moving away. “Look at you. Acting as if you have some claim on me. I think I already blew you off the other night.”
“Look at you, acting as if I’m a person that you blow off. I think I already warned you about me.” He was teasing as I’d been. But he wasn’t all at the same time.
My heart skipped a beat. “Another threat?”
“If you want it to be.”
He looked at me like he had earlier- that intent way that saw through me, into me. Saw all my dark parts. In a way, he was showing me his darkness as well. My lip quivered, but I wasn’t scared. Well, not scared enough.
His eyes sparkled, and with that simple phrase, we entered into an agreement. He would have me. He would fuck me. He would bring me into his world. And in return I’d let him break me.
As Emily immerses herself deeper and deeper into Reeve’s life she starts to lose her purpose for being there. She is supposed to be looking for Amber, finding out what happened with her. The private investigator she hired has found sightings of Amber so they know she is alive. Maybe that is enough to clear Reeve and Emily can walk out of his life with something left of herself. Unfortunately she is in too deep and doesn’t know if she even wants out.
I stopped walking. “You think I need a safe word?”
He’d taken a few steps past me before noticing I’d halted. He pivoted to face me, his hands thrust in his pockets. “I’m not sure. I’ve never used one, but I’ve never been with a woman who didn’t make her limits absolutely clear.”
My throat tightened. I’d let him do humiliating things to me and yet, somehow, admitting this was more embarrassing than anything else.
My eyes fell to study my boots. “It doesn’t matter if I had one. I wouldn’t use it.”
“Even if I went too far?”
I wrapped my arms around myself. “I don’t know what that is, Reeve.”
The blurb for First Touch caught my eye. These darker books are my crack. I can’t resist them. It only took about a chapter for me to be hooked on this one. This is one of those books where you can almost see things happening, you almost know what is going on and it is right within your grasp and then you realize you never knew anything.
I was conflicted while reading First Touch. Emily has no filter on abuse. She cannot say no to anything someone wants to do to her, regardless of what that is. There is a point where she talks about being abused with scissors and still she wasn’t able to stop the man. She has issues but she wasn’t what bothered me. What bothered me was my lack of understanding of Reeve. He recognizes she cannot say no and yet he still does things that border on abuse. There are some very degrading and conflicting scenes in this book. A lot of them add to the mystery of what is going on, yet some made me think Reeve is just a selfish asshole. How was I supposed to believe he cared for her at all when he did something of the things he did?
The end, oh the end. The end is like a right hook followed by a sucker punch. Two things happen- one that was fairly obvious yet has huge implications. The other, I can’t say I saw it coming. Now I have to wait until June for the next book and I am not happy about this wait. I want to know what happens!
Overall, this book was exactly my thing. I couldn’t put it down. This is dark erotica at its best. I am hoping book two addresses some of the things I talked about above. I would like to have Reeve’s point of view and know how he is really feeling this whole time. I know how Emily felt and what she wanted- Reeve his feelings and motives remain a mystery. Final grade- B-
He took a step away, but came back immediately. “One more,” he said as he slanted his mouth over mine.
One more and one more and one more, I thought. Always one more. I’d take them all. I’d take even more.