I’m not going to lie, I am one to follow skin care trends. I like it, I can’t help it and I don’t want to stop. I hear from all the super beauty gurus that Korean skincare products are amazing. Like, totally. I LOVE sheet masks, so decided to get some Korean sheet masks. Because Korean + sheet masks. Try to keep up.
Santa Claus, AKA the UPS man arrived yesterday with my masks. I kissed him, praised him and then sheepishly apologized. I think he’s sick of my shit. Whatever Santa. eye roll
I ripped open the package and behold…
White, Aloe, Charcoal and Hyaluronate. Oh yeah baby. Come to momma.
Green Tea, Collagen, Cucumber and Herb? That HAS to be good, right? It just does.
OH EM GEE! Platinum, Gold AND Pearl? Oh my skin. I will be the beauty to rival all Disney Princesses. I will. I just know it. Just retire now Snow White.
What? Collagen ESSENCE? That’s even better than the full collagen, right? And Vitamin? Must be the ‘C’ kind because that’s totally good. Get on mah face you sexy sheet mask!!
Wait. What? Royal Jelly? What is Royal Jelly? Is that…honeycomb on the package? Yes, that must be it. Woohoooo! Honey is good. Wait. Bee venom? You’re killing my “buzz” Korean sheet mask. Get it?
Next is…..HOLD UP THERE HOSS! Is this a joke? Surely it’s a joke or some silly misunderstanding. Please.
Ok, Google says this is no joke. Google says snail secretions are good. Snail secretions are the key to eternal beauty. I think Google hates me. I will think long and hard about snail secretions. Please, make me stop typing snail secretions. Hold me.
WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL? Who put Syn-Ake collagen essence in my Korean skin care order??? I mean, SNAKE? Really? Surely this is dangerous. Plus, have you seen snakeskin. Not the look I am going for. Not at all. I prefer a smoother appearance. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to syn-akes. That sny-ake does not look happy to see me, or my face. Someone, please tell this won’t kill me. It came with all the other gorgeous, pretty masks. It must be ok. It must be ok. It must….I feel faint.
Ok, all fun aside because fun is not permitted here. I have a ton of sheet masks to get through and I can’t sit here and type to you people all day if I want to transform myself into a timeless syn-ake beauty. Goodbye, Then end.
I’m saving the syn-ake for last. Just in case.