Fiction Vixen is pleased to welcome author Jill Sorenson today. Check out her latest releases:
Hello Fiction Vixen! I’m so happy to be here, talking about XXXmas! Three cheers!!
Gift giving is always a hot topic during the holidays. I was recently asked about the worst gift I’d ever received. It’s kind of a funny story…
My boyfriend and I had been dating for seven years when I started to get wedding fever. I was about to graduate from college. We were living together. We’d just gone on a rustic, romantic vacation through central Mexico, where we were asked—by everyone—if we were honeymooners. My best friend got married.
I was ready.
On Christmas Eve, my fella presented me with a black velvet box. My heart started beating faster. Was he going to pop the question?! He didn’t get down on one knee, which was disappointing, but I opened the box anyway.
Earrings. He gave me a pair of nice diamond earrings.
I can’t remember how I reacted outwardly, but inside I was fuming. I don’t even like earrings. I wanted a ring, damn it.
I guess I held it together long enough to continue our gift exchange, because I remember opening the next present. You think he hid a ring in a crackerjack box to trick me, don’t you? Oh friends. He did not. No, he handed me a cute little package of sex toys.
We’d discussed marriage that year, not vibrators. I’d never used a vibrator before (silly me). I was horrified! Both my boyfriend and I had been raised Catholic. I was an atheist by age 8, but I still didn’t feel that a dildo was an appropriate gift for a religious holiday.
Luckily, my horny bastard of a boyfriend got a clue and proposed a few months later. On one knee, in Spanish! We’ve been happily married for more than ten years now. I have a whole drawer full of vibrators. It’s a wonderful life.
What are you hoping for this Christmas?
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